Happy birthday. I started running again.

20 years

20 years

Drey’s birthday weekend was exactly as it needed to be.  I spent time alone.  I left balloons by the soccer field.  I cried over coffee with Fred.  I got a tattoo.  I saw Drey’s friends.  I went out to Drey’s favorite restaurant with Robbie and David and we shared memories.  I opened unexpected cards.  One card read, “don’t let the devil steal your joy.” I liked that.

I ran just over 2 miles today… 12:07 mile. That’s too fast for just getting started. I need to pace myself since it’s the first time I’ve run in a year. But damn it felt good. I feel strong when I run – like a bad ass. I could’ve whooped anyone’s ass in Franklinton, I’m sure of it! 🙂

This grief journey is a long one. It won’t end… I will always grieve to some extent because he’ll always be my baby. And little by little I find my new footing.

6 thoughts on “Happy birthday. I started running again.

  1. I think that is a profound truth about all deep loss. We always suffer from it, but that suffering changes us, becomes a part of us and over time that is just part of the new normal. We adjust, somehow, to being able to breath again in this new world that contains our grief.

  2. perfectly worded, Cathy. Exactly what I’m feeling.
    I know some people struggle to be around me… they probably wonder when I’ll “be back to normal again.” Life is just different now. And it includes this grief. It lessens, it changes, but life won’t be the same. Things are different now. But I can still have joy 🙂

  3. Denise, I pray for you often, and even though you may not feel like it, you are an inspiration to me:) If you can survive all that you have been through, I know that I can do the same. I too am learning that God can help you through the toughest of times, even when we ask him….Why? Enjoy your time running again, you deserve it.
    Love,
    Jodi

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