I dropped off David this morning. The small rock is still painted… RIP FDM. It’s been 2 months since your friends painted it. It’s lasted a long time.

I always drop David off in the mornings but this morning was harder than usual. It’s because we hit traffic and were a little late. You and I were always cutting it close to get there in time baby. Remember? Funny what a difference 9 minutes can make with my mood. I don’t want to drop David off at 7:34 or later. I’ve got to avoid that at all costs. Who knew? A drop off at 7:25 and I’m “ok” – as “ok” as I can be as I drive past the rock, the soccer field, the stop sign on the hill where I taught you to drive a standard, your parking spot. But 7:34… The shallow breathing and trembling came back all at once. No thank you.

I don’t always feel like this, Drey. Somehow I’m learning to live with the hard days with a different attitude. They make me more grateful for the lighter days.

But that doesn’t mean I don’t ache.

Today I am one day closer to seeing you again. Today I am one day closer to spending eternity with my perfect Father and lover of my soul. Is it amazing, Drey? Are you smiling? Dancing? Racing?

Dear Lord help me to take my thoughts captive to your obedience. Help me love people with Your love. Teach me every lesson possible through this suffering. My life will count. Drey’s life will count. Did count.