I’m very grateful for this post. Hearing that other parents still struggle even though their child died a while ago helps me realize I’m not alone in this pain in spite of how lonely it feels. It also motivates me to want to move towards others who are hurting. We can have joy alongside our sorrow… The holiday season isn’t all hard. But it’s different now. And it is what it is. There’s no sense in putting on a mask. I will laugh, I will cry, I will pray, rejoice and be angry too. It’s just life now.
I did something the other day that most people probably wouldn’t understand. I specifically went into the Christmas aisles at a our local big-box store to test myself. I wanted to see how I would react to seeing all of the Christmas stuff that is now arriving on shelves in force. I wanted to see how badly the vise would constrict around my heart this year as Thanksgiving and Christmas approach. Perhaps I wanted to begin preparing myself for the onslaught of reminders that “It’s the Most Wonderful Time of the Year” – or, at least, the implications that it should be. For some people, it’s not. You see, this time of year as Thanksgiving and Christmas approach is always a tricky time filled with potential landmines for a parent who has lost a child.
The vise doesn’t constrict as much as it once did, but I don’t think there’s…
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A Friend on the Walk 
I just discovered your blog after reading your comment on Grief: One Woman’s Perspective. I’m so sorry that your son is gone. I hope you don’t mind that I’ve added your blog to the website I’m curating in memory of my 23 year old son, who died 17 months ago. It’s a website where I am collecting blogs by bereaved parents, as well as articles, videos, music, and anything else that might be a helpful resource for bereaved parents.
http://www.scoop.it/t/grief-and-loss
Thank you ❤
I'm sorry about your son.
It's so painful.
We are united by a bond neither of us ever ever wanted.
And not one of us ever expected to be living the lives we now have.