The good, the bad, and the indifferent

Looks like The Tragedy was just a blip on your radar screen.
No card. No call. No contact. How long has it been?
Hey – remember me?
Is it easier to just push it out of your mind?
Lucky you.
See that picture of me smiling?
No – it doesn’t let you off the hook.
Nice try.
The others?
They’ve been a blessing. Even though they were on the peripheral.
God is so good in spite of you.
In spite of me…
What would I have done? Lived my happy little life.
What would I do now? Lean in – no fears.
But who knew before The Tragedy?
I’ve been schooled.
Forebear.
Forgive.
I think of you.
I wish you well. Truly.

5 thoughts on “The good, the bad, and the indifferent

  1. Ah my friend…I do not believe anyone’s tragedy is a “blip” on anyone’s radar screen. It is searing to the point of blindness and maybe we cannot approach the heat of your loss because of our own fallenness and lack of sight….in no way does your catastrophe absolve us from supporting you. But maybe, just maybe, the huge tragegy of the fall itself, explains a small portion of the very frequent moments in this horror when you are alone, when we have left you, when we have been afraid of you and when we have failed you. We can only ask for God’s mercy and grace to get us where we need to be in alignment with your pain and need and void and darkness. I am sorry I have failed you. But Christ has not. And that fact alone makes me strong and courageous in approaching you and saying that I do love you. Even though I often do not know how to approach your pain. I pray that God makes me courageous. Love you, Nancy XXXOOO

    • Yes. Amen.

      I have been blessed by several wonderful people who have been and continue to be amazingly supportive.

      Some people don’t know what to say, what to do. (At least I’m assuming that’s why we don’t hear from them). So they avoid. There are many secondary losses that accompany death including the loss of some relationships.

      But but but there are far more people who have reached out that I never would’ve expected to hear from. It’s very encouraging and motivating. Motivated to give away the love I’ve been given.

      Love u nancy.

  2. I understand what you are feeling and it resonates. Since my son’s celebration of life, I have been struggling with understanding how several of my very good friends could have not taken the time to come and support us. Granted, it entailed a trip across country, but these were some of the women I considered my best friends. It’s hard to understand, but I am also doing my best — trying to remember that until I lost my son, I didn’t understand how important just being physically present and supportive would be. I will keep trying to remember that and wish you the very best as you work through not receiving the support you should be receiving. No one who has not suffered the loss of a child can understand (or probably should understand) just how painful this is and how much we need people to reach out to us — even when, and especially when, we can’t respond back because we are just so desperately sad.

    • Thanks so much for sharing. It helps to know others understand.

      Love will win. Sometimes it’s hard not to be bitter – especially in this age of social media where we see others carrying on with their lives. But love will win…

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